Tag Archives: Relationships

On the Strength Of

Feats-of-Strength
Recently had to ask some people that I work with a strange request: “can I have a woman dump a bag of flour on you?”. Yes, the bag of flour that you make bread & cake with. At first, I thought that I would be looked at as a ‘madman’ – or to some, ‘madder’, but I decided to ask anyway. Sometimes I was hesitant, other times I was blunt with it. I found out that most people at first found the request strange – as I expected. Some said ‘nah’, which I knew was gonna happen, however more people than I thought actually agreed. No compensation was offered, nothing was promised, which led me to ask the question as to why they would agree to such a request. And the only answer I could possibly fathom is the apt title of this post – ‘on the Strength of’.

One could only agree to such a request if they fully believed and supported the individual making the request. This had me almost kinda baffled because sometimes, or most times, I question and doubt my self, ideas, and concepts, but it is almost overwhelming (don’t worry, not gonna cry) to know that there are a group of people around me that will ‘ride for the cause’, primarily because they believe in ‘YOU’. And its odd, and something that I have to change. I should be my biggest believer in my self before anyone else is. We all should aim to have that same mindset.

.:: LiBM ::.

Unresponsiveness is a Response

feedback-loop

Feedback Loop w/ no FeedBack

Insecurity Intelligence

In any system, there exists certain rules that dictate how that system operates. In Computers, when a user selects an application to open, the OS must find the files, execute the code, send instructions to RAM and so on. Everything has to be responsive in the computer in order for the application you selected to show up on your screen – when that application doesn’t show up, something in the system is unresponsive. And that can really be frustrating to the user, especially if its an app that you really need. To correlate this to the ‘real world’, I’m coming to terms with ‘unresponsiveness’ from people, especially in group dynamics. I used to give people the ‘benefit of the doubt’, and make excuses for their unresponsiveness, but I think its a lost cause. Not only are they unresponsiveness to your stimuli (thought, idea, email, txt), but they are unresponsive to YOU, as a person. And when you have a ‘team mindset’, you should operate with a ‘consensus’ attitude – I operate with that ‘ebb & flow’ of communications, ideas, and debates. But when you put out ideas & concepts to your team, and you got to cattle prod them for a response, I’m learning that the cattle prod isn’t necessary. At this stage, you are looking more for ‘Validation’ than a ‘Response’, and that is a sign of one’s own insecurity. Insecurity is what holds us back, doubt ourselves, and causes strain on relationships. A BlackBerry slogan tagline goes something like ‘Action Starts Here’, which is their little red asterisk on a message, remove the corporate intent, and it can be said that ‘action’ should begin at a stimuli – and maybe some people are just better at action than others … And for the others that aren’t as ‘better’ than one whom is, don’t let their ‘inaction’ slow you down or sway your motivation or cast doubt.

Maybe I’m babbling here, but anybody that has been in a team environment on a startup business can probably relate. Share your stories about unresponsiveness in the comments below.

.:: LiBM ::.

Basic This, Basic That

Desinged by http://zibaricon.deviantart.com/
Desinged by http://zibaricon.deviantart.com/

Basic Goodness

This one Woman told me that I “think too much”, which is probably true – but she framed it in a negative context (or that’s at least how I took it). And ever since she said that, things between us haven’t been the same, and by “been the same’, I mean she kinda brushed me off. Which is okay I guess, as they say, more ‘fish are in the sea’, and I further don’t have time for someone that doesn’t like the analytical nuances – which I convey.  And furthermore, these occurrences happen time after time, which makes me wonder a few things … A lot of things, but for the sake of this post, I want to find out what ‘normal’ people discuss.

Is it just Weather? The latest reality show? Workplace gossip? I tend to think I discuss these basic things also, but I would further analyze the situational factors of the reality show, and point out behavioral issues of one’s co-workers. And I look for the ‘meta’ things in life, taking the conversation to a level where the topic becomes the merits of the actual conversation (if that makes sense).  I even tried to search online to see what ‘normal people talk about’, and the more results I found, the more I realized that I wouldn’t want to subscribe to that sense of ‘normalcy’

Anyhow, I’m tempted to either change my ways – engage in that basic discourse, but a line from Lupe Fiasco keeps agitating me “When you dumb it down, its just harder to understand“, yup, guess its going to have to be good riddance to not just ‘bad rubbish’, but ‘basic rubbish’.

.:: LiBM ::.

Whom should pay for dates? Men or Women?

who should pay

Is Chivalry Dead?

So you were able to persuade the girl of your dreams in going on a date with you, perfect. Things are going well, you give her your magic charm, she is smiling & laughing (hopefully not at you), the food is good, and you end up paying, and you take her home. Good Stuff. But the cycle of you paying for the meal after the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and to the 10th date, starts to leave you wondering, “When is she going to pay for the date?”. And this is the question that is the fuel for debate, and equally the source of arguments as some women, regardless of how long they have been dating their Man, refuse to pay for dates. Chivalry is not dead, is it? Yes, Men should do certain things, but we also live in an age of equality – with the rise of Feminism, women desire & want to be treated as equal, as they should be. But in some facets of life, they still want the Man to ‘take care’ of certain things such as dates – even if they are in a long-term committed relationship or even married.

A lot has been said also on whom initiates the date – meaning that if the Man asks the Woman out, then the Man should pay – I can understand that. But after awhile, once a mutual understanding is established, and once both parties are interested in each other, then that is when things such as dates should start being shared, right? This video illustrates the differing views between males & females on whom should pay for date – hilarity ensues as most women will stick to their guns that women should NEVER pay for dates, and where Men are always trying to walk that fine line of ‘wishing/hoping’ that women eventually start sharing or paying their ‘fair share’.

______
Starring Comedians:
Sylvana: @sylvanasays
Justin Laite: facebook.com/justin.laite
Produced by Urban Comedy Network

.:: LiBM ::.

Flippin’ the Neediness

dumping

Flip the Neediness?

A method to dump your partner w/o being the ‘Bad Guy’

I’m sure we all have had that experience of being with someone that just became too needy over time; at first their needy behavior was ‘adorable, but then it grew into a weird beast that is both weird and sometimes creepy – with constant text messages and phone calls. Well, there are a couple of ways to deal with the needy:

  • Drop ‘em like its hot – the fastest & equally coldest method
  • Tolerate – answer the constant text messages/phone calls
  • Flip the Neediness – YOU become the needy one!
Now this is the one that is most interesting, ‘Flippin the Neediness’. Defined by comic Justin Laite, this is the process of becoming even MORE needier that your needy partner so that they start realizing that YOU are the neediness and with the hopes that they eventually dump you because they can’t handle your needy behavior any more.  So for instance if they call you 5 times a day, then you start calling them 20 times a day.  Send them over 50 text messages a day; describe your toast, coffee, brunch, lunch, and so on.  ‘Like’ and comment on all of their FaceBook posts everyday.  Eventually, they should be sick of you and will start to think that YOU have a problem.  This is almost an ideal situation if it works because it removes the burden of dumping someone that is emotionally unstable.  Classic.
Has anyone tried this before? What has been your findings? I would presume it would be awesome.

_____________________
Starring Comedians:
Sylvana: @sylvanasays
Justin Laite: facebook.com/justin.laite
Produced by Urban Comedy Network

Oppositional Disorder

Oppositional Disorder

Hate, Misdirected

I think this may be a trait of good ‘ol haterism, oppositional disorder is one of those created theories to describe the tendency of people to just oppose anything – any argument, no matter how logical and plausible the argument is, they will still oppose. And you may get to thinking, “Damn, Rhonda is just a bitch; that bitch opposes anything”, and yes, she may be a Bitch, but she is not necessarily opposing your arguments, but she is opposing the idea of ‘you’, and anything that you stand for, or utter. And this oppositional disorder tendency is prevalent throughout society; we have examples of oppositional disorder characters all over.

Politics
– I’m sure the initial ideals of politics are nothing like the current political landscape, because now politics are only about directly opposing the position of your competitor. Even if one party fundamentally agrees with a proposed policy or bill of another party, they will find/create some flaw to oppose it.

News Pundits
Though the environment is created by the news producers, but most news shows focus on discussing a topic, having one person from the left, one person from the right, and having the news anchor moderate the argument between the two – that makes for ‘Great TV’

Most Parents vs Adolescents
I’m sure most teenagers and youth feel that their parents just ‘hate’ and oppose everything they wanna do, and similarly, I am sure that Parents feel the same way – as their children that they have raised from birth, whom are now forming their identity and opinions, seem to oppose each & everything they say.

Flirting
Believe it or not, the oppositional disorder can be used in the romance department. To create intrigue, mystery, and conversation going strong – just oppose what she says, because 9 times out of 10 she will be wrong, and it creates a case for you to show off your wonderful rhetoric skills (make sure you have such skills before attempting)

In all, the oppositional disorder is all over, and if you oppose anything I said in this piece, then you have the disorder too.

.:: LiBM ::.

Push Back and Management

Management Tales 101

Gotta give a shoutout to all Managers of the Independent Artists out there; management is a real tough gig. By definition of the job itself, Management is working for others, and hoping to fulfill their wishes and intent to the best of your capacity; so thus, you are working for people that already think highly of themselves and are a tad bit self-absorbed.

And the management of independent artists is a whole different beast I imagine; as the artist(s) are also co-managers, and necessarily do not have to take heed to your comments and recommendations. As most artists already have a ‘beautiful roadmap’ as to how they will make it in the game. The best thing you can do as a manager is to try and offer advice and constructive criticisms; though this may be a bit hard, because as a manager you are by very nature/definition a ‘control freak’ and/or have control issues – so not having free control over whatever you are managing, can prove to be frustrating.

So, here are a list of resources and potential problems with solutions for dealing with your independent artists:

Recording
How to deal with artists not recording and/or sticking to their schedule?

This is tricky, because part of the reason they may not be recording is due to lack of creativity, or due to laziness. So to sift through this if you are experiencing recording problems, is to stop making the schedules for them, and tell the artist(s) to start scheduling their own damn schedule – this way you can test their seriousness and work ethic.

Promotion & Brand Visibility

What do to with artists whom are not engaging and interacting with fans?
Some artists think that they just make music and perform – and that’s it. But in this day of age, I would liken artists as brands – and their are many ways to manage and promote your brand, and more importantly engaging and communicating with your followers/fans. With the range of tools that are available to us, it is easy to engage in ‘CRM’ (Customer Relationship Management) with a brands following, here are some good tools:

    HootSuite – scheduled sending of tweets (offers free & PRO accounts), and has mobile apps on BB, iOS, Android
    http://www.hootsuite.com
    Gmail – the amount of tools and features that gmail has makes it easy to send and respond from any computer or device
    http://www.gmail.com
    Google Voice – Allows you to get a virtual number that you can use as a business number; and can be managed via your Google gmail account.
    http://www.google.com/voice


Miscellaneous & Organization
Other things to help keep you organized:

    Notebook: bring these to meetings and document major goals and ideas so that in the future you can go back to these failed goals and see ‘what went wrong’
    Calendar: Usually everyone has a smartphone, so teach your artist(s) about how to use the calendar function (you’d be surprised how many people that have smartphones don’t use this feature). And for important events and milestones, add several reminders so that they can’t say ‘I never knew’. I love the Calendar, its a fail-safe bullshit meter

If you have any other items that I may have missed, please feel free to comment and let me know – heck, I’m still learning myself.

P.S.;  and I guess the greatest asset to have is PATIENCE, as you deal with some things and thoughts that make no logical sense.

Social DNA

Social DNA

Similar, Complimentary, Opposite.

According to the folks at Energy Diamond, these are the keys, well in terms of balancing them, to achieve positive/optimal social DNA. I think they may be onto something because having your social network full of one set of people does not really do much in giving you a balance viewpoint on things. I know many people that only want to surround their world with similar thinking people – I think this is an attempt to lessen arguments & protect their sense of self (the overly religious do this a lot).   I truly think that if people adopted a more balance viewpoint by allowing themselves to be open to various inputs of ideology and reasoning, then we would have more tolerance, and ultimately more peace. But Utopia is a couple of generations away …. (I hope that I’m wrong though).
For more info check out www.energydiamond.com/socialdna/

Tangentical

All About the Tangents Baby!

Getting things off your chest in random sequences … nah, I ain’t crazy

If you have been following this blog, then you must know that I like to go off on ‘tangents’ – which are somewhat long commentaries, complaints, stories, about particular topic(s). And in my day-to-day life I realised I do this too, like just pick any topic, and at will, I can just go off, bring up stats, complimentary issues, segway into sub-issues, etc. Some of my friends and co-workers find this annoying – but this post isn’t about their reaction, and I don’t want to go off on a tangent about that. But I recently met someone whom is almost identical in the ‘tangent nature’ and she referred to herself as ‘tangentical’ – and this is like explaining the whole experience of studying psychology: Attaching technical terms to feelings that you have always felt. If I can re-define this word that has not been defined, ‘tangentical’ to me suggests a disposition to use tangents through all facets of life and interactions with others, and to evoke emotions. You can argue with my definition, but will most likely lose to Supreme Court of Moi.

One frequent response of being Tangentical is that most people will say ‘I don’t get you’ or ‘I don’t understand, you talk to much’, which may all be some valid points. But being Tangentical is much more than just being able to ‘go off’ on a rhetoric diatribe, its about attempting to cover each and every possible trite question that the listener may have; so as to avoid the mundane questions.

Example: when talking to someone about why you don’t like Baseball, explain when your displeasure started, any personal experiences of playing baseball, and attempts to try and modify your dislike of Baseball.

So essentially being Tangentical embodies identifying etiology, subjective experiences, attitude/behavior modification, and logical rhetoric.

Now, if only I can learn the technical term for discovering technical terms to stuff we already experience … That would make my day/week/month/year/decade even more.

.:: LiBM ::.