Category Archives: Love

All things romantic, lovely, that guishy good feeling

Flippin’ the Neediness


Flip the Neediness?

A method to dump your partner w/o being the ‘Bad Guy’

I’m sure we all have had that experience of being with someone that just became too needy over time; at first their needy behavior was ‘adorable, but then it grew into a weird beast that is both weird and sometimes creepy – with constant text messages and phone calls. Well, there are a couple of ways to deal with the needy:

  • Drop ‘em like its hot – the fastest & equally coldest method
  • Tolerate – answer the constant text messages/phone calls
  • Flip the Neediness – YOU become the needy one!
Now this is the one that is most interesting, ‘Flippin the Neediness’. Defined by comic Justin Laite, this is the process of becoming even MORE needier that your needy partner so that they start realizing that YOU are the neediness and with the hopes that they eventually dump you because they can’t handle your needy behavior any more.  So for instance if they call you 5 times a day, then you start calling them 20 times a day.  Send them over 50 text messages a day; describe your toast, coffee, brunch, lunch, and so on.  ‘Like’ and comment on all of their FaceBook posts everyday.  Eventually, they should be sick of you and will start to think that YOU have a problem.  This is almost an ideal situation if it works because it removes the burden of dumping someone that is emotionally unstable.  Classic.
Has anyone tried this before? What has been your findings? I would presume it would be awesome.

Starring Comedians:
Sylvana: @sylvanasays
Justin Laite:
Produced by Urban Comedy Network

Within Range

You Fancy huh? Or Fast?

There has to exist some unwritten formula for common courtesy that states; if someone offers to buy you a meal, such meal must not be more than 100% more of what your meal costs. So if I am buying something that costs $2.75, then your max range for a similar item must be $5.25 – this is governed by the International Law of Non-Dirtbaggery and common sense. This makes sense right? I recently was a victim of this heinous offense, as someone went well out of range – especially when I didn’t even acknowledge that I would buy her meal! The nerve of some people, but as a gentleman I played it cool, and I would of covered the costs if it was in the acceptable range, but when it was upwards to 250% of my total value of my meal, that is when the line had to be drawn down in the sand. As Homey the Clown from In Living Color used to say, “Homey don’t play that”, so upon checkout, I paused and looked at her to give some money to her exuberant meal – to her dismay and embarrassment as she was fumbling for money to pay for her ‘royally’ expensive meal. And a lesson was learned, from both parties.

Nerban Holiday Gift Guide

Nerban Gift Guide

Some fresh fashions and tech gear for the Nerbans and Nerbanettes for this holiday season – from the highly techie stuff to the cool gear.  You can be a nerd with style!



Iomega 500gb USB powered external Hard Drive

$99 via TigerDirect

The Maraca headphones by WeSC

$64 via KarmaLoop

High Society Pullover by Crooks & Castles

$59 via Dr Jays

The McKenzie Coat by Spiewalk

$169 via KarmaLoop

The Solomon Fatsax by LRG

$26 via KarmaLoop

The Vaider Sneaker by Supra

$96 via KarmaLoop

.:: LiBM ::.

Gross National Happiness for Women

GNP for Women

How to increase the Gross National Happiness for Women

Gross National Happiness (GNH) is an attempt to define quality of life in more holistic and psychological terms than Gross National Product.  The term was coined in 1972 by Bhutan’s former King Jigme Singye Wangchuck, who has opened up Bhutan to the age of modernization, soon after the demise of his father King Jigme Dorji Wangchuk. It signaled his commitment to building an economy that would serve Bhutan’s unique culture based on Buddhist spiritual values. Like many moral goals, it is somewhat easier to state than to define. Nonetheless, it serves as a unifying vision for the Five Year planning process and all the derived planning documents that guide the economic and development plans of the country. 

After reading this I thought of a great correlational study; can the GNH apply to Women?  Women always complain about not being happy, not getting their way, so maybe if they followed (or more importantly, their man followed) some of the GNH 7 steps to happiness – modified for women, then women may achieve a high GNH.  But knowing women, they probably would never be satisfied.

7 Steps for Happiness

Now there are 7 steps that would lead women to overall good GNP; some of the steps are adapted/modified from Med Jones (2006):
1. Economic Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of economic metrics such as consumer debt, average income to consumer price index ratio and income distribution
(Women’s Interpretation: you better not be sitting around the house and not pulling in any income – you have to support her shoe habit, because she can’t dare rock last year’s shoe in this season)

2. Environmental Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of environmental metrics such as pollution, noise and traffic
(Women’s Interpretation: stop littering and care about the environment; more importantly stop leaving your ish all over the house)

3. Physical Wellness: Indicated via statistical measurement of physical health metrics such as severe illnesses
(Women’s Interpretation: don’t get out of shape and gain a pot/beer belly – or I will start singing Beyonce’s ‘Irreplaceable’)

4. Mental Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of mental health metrics such as usage of antidepressants and rise or decline of psychotherapy patients
(Women’s Interpretation: if you want to sleep comfortably, watch football on Sunday’s, then do what I say – or I will raise hell)

5. Workplace Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of labor metrics such as jobless claims, job change, workplace complaints and lawsuits
(Women’s Interpretation: he better not be flirting around with that bimbo receptionist at work, as she may need fully functioning tires to get home)

6. Social Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of social metrics such as discrimination, safety, divorce rates, complaints of domestic conflicts and family lawsuits, public lawsuits, crime rates
(Women’s Interpretation: you can’t always be hanging out with your friends doing a whole bunch of nothing)

7. Political Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of political metrics such as the quality of local democracy, individual freedom, and foreign conflicts.
(Women’s Interpretation: get involved in politics and abandon the “I don’t care” approach, if you need help, then believe what I believe in)

In summation, the GNH for women can probably be paraphrased, summed up, described as ‘Just Listen to her for peace’, or she will rip you to ‘pieces’ and/or will never allow you any ‘peace’ and quiet. And of course shoes, lots of shoes.

Just to show you that the whole concept of GNP is not a joke, check the following video:

LMC presents: Ann Muller & Gross National Happiness from another being creative on Vimeo.


The Naïve Woman


Naïve or Manipulative?

Deflecting blame and responsibility

Naïve is a French loanword (adjective, form of naïf) indicating having or showing a lack of experience, understanding or sophistication. It can also be spelled naive. The noun form can be written naivety, naïvety, naïveté, naïvete, or naiveté.

Women can be one of two things; very naïve or very manipulative; I would go even further to suggest that sometimes they blur the line between manipulative behavior and naitivity; masking their manipulative states as being naïve. They do this so that when the sh*t hits the fan, they can deflect and redirect blame. Giving simplistic replies to their man like, “I didn’t know that he would do that”, “I am so shocked that he did that”, and “I had no idea that he was thinking like that” are sometimes humorous and disrespectful to our intellects. These examples are referring to those women whom always get into some sort of man trouble; either some guy gets aggressive with them, starts flirting with them, or starts stalking them – and then these women seem baffled as how this could have transpired. Of course you are going to have the odd creepy dirtbag, but I would suggest that a lot of the predicaments that women get into are a result of their direct chosen behavior.

So, if you are one of these lame’s, or know someone who is, here are some methods how you can change them:

Step 1: Confront their bullsh*t
– too often, we men are letting too much slide. Somewhere in the 70’s or 80’s or even 90’s, men were conditioned not to say what is on their minds, and to practice some sort of new age passive behavior where discussion about sensitive topics is taboo. Interesting correlation in the rise of feminism and the rise of pussification amongst men, lol. I’m digressing from the topic though, but you need to confront the issue when something doesn’t seem right, don’t let it go – cause it will probably happen again

Step 2: Common Sense is Common
– After the confrontation, they will try to retract, backtrack on statements, and will try to place the blame of the source of tension to situational factors – but never placing the blame on themselves. Screw that, no, screw that with a big Phillips Screwdriver. Women have a classic tendency in committing the Fundamental Attribution Error; attributing undesirable behavior/consequences to situational factors instead of dispositional factors (themselves). Part of the reason in doing this is simple; it is much easier to blame your problems on something else – and as a society, most of us may do it without much conscious awareness. But, that doesn’t make it right. Women need to own up to their behavior – that guy wouldn’t be making those sly innuendos if you hadn’t been flirting with him OR those guys wouldn’t be commenting on your appearance if you hadn’t been exposing so much cleavage. Get real ladies. Don’t come crying and complaining why certain things are happening to you when you know exactly why – stop playing the innocent game, ya guilty!

Step 3: Go at the stubbornness
– So if she still wants to play naïve, then there are some ways to get her to see the ‘light’ in her cloudy atmosphere. Essentially when one plays the naïve role, they are showing an undesirable trait; that trait is the lack of sophistication and critical judgment. So, point that out. Women always have a desire to be ‘sophisticated’ and an ‘expert authority’ on relationships and people – and by a certain age, at least near the end of high school, women have enough interactions to use as a reference point for the analysis and interpretation of future behavior … simply put, they have ‘experience’. That experience is learned by direct contact, and through TV., film, and the oral tradition (get ya mind out the gutter, wiki it). So when she acts shocked, surprised about why something has happened – and when you know the causal factors of why it happened, and she can’t accept that, then go at her intellect. She will hopefully see the error in her ways and stop her stubborn behavior.

Step 4: Acceptance
– Once you have said your peace, be at peace. Know that if they persist to act asinine and/or play foolish, undesirable results will materialize. Some women are completely naïve – and may have not learned from previous experiences; that is completely possible. However, I would suspect that most women know EXACTLY what they are doing and they use the naïve card as a ‘Get out of jail’ card. Sorry ladies, your card is expired, fellas stand up!

In summation ladies, you are very smart; much more than you lead on. You are very perceptive and aware of your environment and the people within it; simply take responsibility for your actions. And understand that most actions and behavior from others are intentional; and you as ladies have a good idea at the motivation behind it. Don’t play the fool, or you will end up the fool. Tired of y’all asking the obvious questions and standing there in bewilderment; kinda like standing with a mini-skirt, high heels, fishnet stockings, and low-cut tank top on the Las Vegas strip and asking why all these guys are asking if you are available for 30 minutes for a $100 … lol.


.:: LiBM ::.


tan(010) – Importance to women is a hard route to MapQuest


Super Tangent(010)

Night out with friends, prep your route, importance, workplace exit cues

Preamble: Ahhhhhh, feels good to get writing these tangents again – its not that nothing hasn’t been pissing me off (there is never a dry spell of that), just been busy focusing on more topic related posts. There is a correlation I think between tangents/rants (pent up anger and frustration) to producing great content; whether it is art, writing, sports, or singing – frustration seems to affect performance (for some), well for me, looks like it is positvely correlated. So, haters, busters, chumps, pricks, hacks, and lames – keep doing your thing!

Night Out with Friends

Maybe it’s the anti-social nature in me, or maybe it is the years of experience waiting for people, picking up people, people not being ready when they said they will be – but I do not really enjoy the process that preceds going out to the club/lounge with friends. I know there are some folks that bask and really like this stage of going out; but I repel it, try to avoid it as much as possible. My usual experiences usually goes like this: friends get the ‘cheap-bug’ and want me to drive, they are reluctant to pitch in on gas & parking, and then there is the waiting part (see my various posts on ‘time’ to understand that). Recently I have tried to bypass all of the elements that annoy me of the club process by telling my friends that I will meet them at the venue – but somehow that never pans out as expected. Maybe, just maybe, in the future I will pronounce that I will not attend, and then magically appear – thus saving my time, money, and sanity.



Preparing Your Route

Maybe its one of those weird logical things that only make logical sense, but if I were going to an address that I don’t know – I will not ask directions from other people; as usually these directions go somewhat like “turn left after 2 lights, the 4th street turn right, after you see the school go for 2 more blocks then turn left”, and so on. More times than not in those situations, a key count of a light or street is overlooked, which leads to one getting lost. So to avoid those situations, one should search out the directions on Google Maps or MapQuest so that they can print out or write the directions – especially if you have days/weeks advance notice in knowing that you have to be at this specific location. It baffles me that some people who use web communications daily, do not rely on the web to solve a simple problem such as directions. People need to be self-reliant in solving life’s simplest problems, don’t rely on others solving your issues that you could’ve easily solved yourself with a little effort and time management. Step your game up!



Measuring Importance

Women have a hard time in understanding. Period. Wait, that was too ‘black & white’, maybe not ‘period’, because women have no problemo in understanding what is important to them – but lord help you for women trying to UNDERSTAND anything that DOES NOT relate or affect them (ooh, isn’t that ‘selfish’, lol). That is like trying to explain color to a man that was born blind, teaching a dog to speak several human languages, understanding the meaning of life – it is damn near impossible and will take years to accomplish. I don’t think there is more need to elaborate other than that women usually have a tendency (yes, strong stereotypes are being used) to only have concern for themselves, and to f— everything else, everyone, and there desires. So fellas, as I have said many times in tweets, posts, in relationships it seems that you got to sit on your knees, cup your genitals, give up your independence, brain, and pride to your woman – if you truly want to make her happy … (that was sarcasm). Stand up fellas, don’t let these birds peck at you; if you had fear before, get some courage you cowardly Lion – stand up.

Workplace Body Language Cues

This is for all those in the work environment, I am sure you have experienced a million times already. I can’t stand when people don’t pick up on body language cues that I drop, that indicate that: a) I don’t care to sit and ‘chit chat’, b) I have lost interest in the conversation, or c) I really don’t give a f— in engaging in this mindless dialogue. I usually drop cues such as backing away from them, turning my body away from them, begin typing on my workstation again – but it usually doesn’t work as they still talk; talking about what they did last weekend, what they will do this weekend, about the boss, blah blah blah blah. I have to blame myself for this, I have to rant on my behavior because I am a very good attentive listener. I give good attention cues such as nodding head, saying stuff like “oh really?”, “wow”, “ok”, “that’s good”, and so on. Essentially, I may be motivating them to talk more as they are picking up on my verbal responsive cues, and may be ignoring or not even noticing my body language cues … and they say that “Body Language speaks louder than Verbal Language”, well, not in the workplace environment, at least not for me.

.:: LiBM ::.

Satisfaction vs Fun

Satisfaction vs. Fun

A physiological difference of sorts

When talking about motivation and the rewards of motivation, I think it falls in one of two categories: satisfaction and fun. They sound similar, but are not the same. Satisfaction can be defined as contentment; which is a state of being at ease in one’s situation – physiologically, there are not major changes in the immune system when one is exeriencing a ‘satisfying’ moment. However ‘fun’ produces an adrenaline rush that causes blood to flow all throughout the body and excites our senses. With ‘fun’ there is a stage of intense stimulation followed by an exhaustion period. To highlight the difference, I have created the following examples:



– dealing with the allergies, weeds, animals eating your flowers and vegetables is not a pleasurable experience, but I can see that the end result of the hard work of gardening can be rewarding

Home Renovations

– besides the fact that you may suffer some injuries or may staple some part of your appendages to a wall, the reward of doing your own home renovations is the increased value of your property and the feelings of accomplishment and success


– there is a fine art to cooking; the boiling, the seasoning, steaming of a dish can be very theraupetic after a stressful day – and the reception of compliments and accolades of a meal well prepared can be very fulfilling (pun intended)


– the thousands of dollars they cost, the stress and anxiety, the endless cleaning up after their mess isn’t that much ‘fun’, but kids do bring out a rewarding factor to parents; as parents can witness the growth and evolution of their offspring right in front of their eyes.

Working Out

– the changing of your clothes, dealing with people who think its cool to walk around nude in changerooms, and the sweat and intensity involved doesn’t make working out at the gym fun, but the improved immune system functioning (cardiovascular, lower blood pressure/cholesteorel), weight loss, and muscle growth make it all rewarding.




– the rush of hitting the jump shot, tackling the running back, or beating a defender provides an adrenaline rush that not much other experiences can provide.

Gentleman’s clubs

– self-explanatory, I guess if one can’t understand this, then the ‘hands-on’ approach is necessary (pun intended – in some states and provinces only)


– See last explanation
Shopping (for women)

– beats me!!! I have no rational explanation

.:: LiBM ::.

Mr. Nice Guy S.E.T.

Favor for a Favor

The Social Exchange Theory of Humanity

It is refreshing to see Bill and Melinda Gates giving millions of dollars to education and anti-poverty programs across the world, of course, Bill Gates is a billionaire after founding the Microsoft corporation in the 80’s, and is now focusing much of his attention to philanthropy causes. In a sense, one can say that Bill is being very altruistic as he is helping others without any concern for himself; or how he may profit off of his good deeds and actions. Not many people are altruistic – as many people may help, but they want something in return; whether it is recognition, accolades, or a future reward. With this definition, corporations that give back to communities/charities do so with motivations that focus on future rewards from government and businesses. Instinctively, humans operate on a Social Exchange Theory, which is to say that all human relationships are formed by the use of a subjective cost-benefit analysis and the comparison of alternatives, it is a process of negotiated exchanges between parties. What motivates one to do something for others is really what they expect to benefit from the process.

Some take pleasure in simply helping others

Designed by Carts

Some help others to appease others and to avoid a future threat

Designed by Stamatisgr

Some help others to increase their status to others

Designed by Phenix Land

Some help others to elicit a similar/greater favor from such individual in the future

Designed by Brown One

So based on these premises, I can’t understand how women time and time again will say “Oh, he is just a nice guy”, “he does that for me all the time”, “oh no, he doesn’t want anything in return”. I laugh at these women; as they are either really stupid, really clever, or lie somewhere in the abyss (in the middle). Don’t get me wrong, in any relationship (friendship, love, familial) there has to exist some cost/benefit exchange for the relationship to flourish; and both parties must feel that the exchanges and rewards are mutual/similar in intensity – or one party will feel ‘slighted’, and will develop the thought that they are being ‘used’. That’s why (regrettingly) we men must go to the girly type activities with our girlfriends; just as they must put up with our sports watching, athletic building, video game playing habits.

So just remember that the Social Exchange Theory really governs and regulates our behaviors and actions towards others. Since I don’t think that much of the people in the 15-34 demographic have much altruistic attitudes …

.:: LiBM ::.

tan(003) – Hypocritical Banking Hours during Family Time

The Broken Black Family, Open the banks late, and girly Hypocrisy

Banking Hours
On a trip to NYC in early ’09, I noticed something so amazing and logical – Banking Hours should be complimentary to our working hours. The normal working hours are 9-5 Monday thru Fridays; most banks close at like 4 or 5, or they may open late on a Thursday or Friday to 6 or 8. I have to give TD Canada Trust some credit for having most of their banks open until 8 Monday thru Fridays, and Saturday open till like 3 or 4. But back to the point of this rant, in NYC, they have banks open 7 days a week; apparently and coincidentally, TD Waterhouse is holding it down out there with banks open until late and open on both days of the weekend. And it makes sense, get customers in when they have the most time; if there is a specific transaction that has to be done on a weekday, process as much as you can on the weekend, then finalize it on Monday morning. BMO, RBC, CIBC – get with the program!

Family Time
Sitting in a City Park over the weekend with the girlfriend, and something good and sad at the same time became apparent. The good: there is still a strong sense that when the weather is nice families like to go to the park and bond with each other; whether it is a BBQ, volleyball, or just a walk in the park. The bad: we didn’t see much black families partaking in this; there was an abundance of white, Asian, and Indian families all spending time with each other in an urban city park. Now maybe, I am reading a bit too much into it; and I have a tendency to find correlations between unseemingly unrelated things, but I think that the lack of representation can be likened to the bigger problem of the state of the Black Family. It is known that the Black Family is in a state of repair; trying to mend the cloth that was ripped by slavery as slave masters deliberately broke up members of Black family to demoralize their spirit. And ever since then, the black family, in comparison to other races, do not have the same strong bond as others. The one good thing about Tyler Perry films is that it emphasizes the importance of family – guess they are good for something, lol.

Its always a satisfying moment when you catch your girlfriend in her own hypocritical ish. Ahh, its refreshing and invigorating. And when they get caught in it, they get quite like a mouse, and try to make up some rubbish excuse that is unique to their current situation. However, you should be subtle and not take it overboard in your tangent/rip into their hypocrisy, rather take the ‘You-know-that-I-know-that-you-have-just-been-caught-in-your-own-ish’ approach, and save the card for a rainy to day to credit when you trip up!

.:: LiBM ::.

Stretching Thin


Stretching Thin

Staying on the equilibrium path of momentum for the Yuppy; CAUTION, challenges ahead, usually from within

The Yuppy goes ‘hard’, our lives is a constant balancing act as we try to maintain a steady equilibrium of forward movement. Some of us have vices that we use to sustain the movement; alcohol, drugs, avoidance, detachment, and we think that this will stretch our movement. However this is counter-productive thought, our vices usually are a quick fix for us to escape our fears, insecurities and problems which are probably interfering with the forward movement that we are desiring to achieve. Being self-aware of such a fact, and taking a hard look at your inner self can make one realize potential hazardous behaviors. I am not saying that social drinking is not acceptable, but if after every stressful event in your life, you cope with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s, then one is creating a dangerous dependency.

Personal relationships can be the worse as we may not be able to enjoy the company of others (our family, friends, loved ones). Sometimes yuppy’s are so passionate about their own projects, their agenda, that they can’t relate to others’ accomplishments and stories. It’s like our sister and brothers can be telling us something about their day that they find interesting, and we will show an attitude of of un-interest and nonchalant behavior. Appreciating others may be a first step in appreciating our own selves and accomplishments.

In all, the Yuppy goes hard, and the Yuppy has a lot to deal with. A lot of pressure and stress can come from various sources, and how we deal with them ultimately defines how far we will go, and at what cognitive/physical/social expense.

.:: LiBM ::.

Brown and Rihanna – Black Cyclic Domestic Violence

Black Domestic Violence

Curtailing the cycle of violence

This whole Rihanna and Chris Brown ordeal is really devastating to both the artists and their fans, but what needs to be discussed more is the prevalence of domestic violence in the Black family.  Domestic violence is really troubling in the black community, as it usually has a cycle effect – as children growing up watching their Dad physically abuse their Mother will usually grow up and exhibit similar behavior to their potential mate.  Thus, to stop domestic violence, it needs to start at home with the family, and conflicts need to be resolved with discourse as opposed to physical actions.  Here are some alarming stats of black domestic violence that will NOT make you wonder why even though a talented, and rich entertainer such as Chris Brown is not immune to black domestic violence as he grew up in a household where he saw his mother being physically abused by his Step Dad.


Overall, African Americans were victimized by intimate partners a significantly higher rates than persons of any other race between 1993 and 1998. Black females experienced intimate partner violence at a rate 35% higher than that of white females, and about 22 times the rate of women of other races. Black males experienced intimate partner violence at a rate about 62% higher than that of white males and about 22 times the rate of men of other races.

Callie Marie Rennison. and Sarah Welchans, U.S. Dep’t of Just., NCJ 178247, Intimate Partner Violence (2000), available at

African-American women experience significantly more domestic violence than White women in the age group of 20-24. Generally, Black women experience similar levels of intimate partner victimization in all other age categories as compared to White women, but experience slightly more domestic violence. (Estimates are provided from the National Crime Victimization Survey, which defines an intimate partner as a current or former spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend. Violent acts include murder, rape, sexual assault, robbery, aggravated assault, and simple assault.)

Callie Marie Rennison, U.S. Dep’t of Just., NCJ 187635, Intimate Partner Violence and Age of Victim, 1993-1999, at 4, (2001), available at

Approximately 40% of Black women report coercive contact of a sexual nature by age 18.

Africana Voices Against Violence, Tufts University, Statistics, 2002,

The number one killer of African-American women ages 15 to 34 is homicide at the hands of a current or former intimate partner.

Africana Voices Against Violence, Tufts University, Statistics, 2002,

In a study of African-American sexual assault survivors, only 17% reported the assault to police.

Africana Voices Against Violence, Tufts University, Statistics, 2002

The Family is where most of our problems start from – how we deal with situations at home is a strong precursor and indicator on how we will relate with the world.  Thus, the resolution lies in re-building the family unit and teaching and practicing positive family values – its the only way to stop the cycle of violence.