Category Archives: Relationships

Relationships: Understanding how humans relate to each other

Tangentical

October 17, 2011 d dot b Leave a comment

All About the Tangents Baby!

Getting things off your chest in random sequences … nah, I ain’t crazy

If you have been following this blog, then you must know that I like to go off on ‘tangents’ – which are somewhat long commentaries, complaints, stories, about particular topic(s). And in my day-to-day life I realised I do this too, like just pick any topic, and at will, I can just go off, bring up stats, complimentary issues, segway into sub-issues, etc. Some of my friends and co-workers find this annoying – but this post isn’t about their reaction, and I don’t want to go off on a tangent about that. But I recently met someone whom is almost identical in the ‘tangent nature’ and she referred to herself as ‘tangentical’ – and this is like explaining the whole experience of studying psychology: Attaching technical terms to feelings that you have always felt. If I can re-define this word that has not been defined, ‘tangentical’ to me suggests a disposition to use tangents through all facets of life and interactions with others, and to evoke emotions. You can argue with my definition, but will most likely lose to Supreme Court of Moi.

One frequent response of being Tangentical is that most people will say ‘I don’t get you’ or ‘I don’t understand, you talk to much’, which may all be some valid points. But being Tangentical is much more than just being able to ‘go off’ on a rhetoric diatribe, its about attempting to cover each and every possible trite question that the listener may have; so as to avoid the mundane questions.

Example: when talking to someone about why you don’t like Baseball, explain when your displeasure started, any personal experiences of playing baseball, and attempts to try and modify your dislike of Baseball.

So essentially being Tangentical embodies identifying etiology, subjective experiences, attitude/behavior modification, and logical rhetoric.

Now, if only I can learn the technical term for discovering technical terms to stuff we already experience … That would make my day/week/month/year/decade even more.

.:: LiBM ::.

Work

Racism Workplace Etiquette

February 18, 2010 d dot b Leave a comment

Racial Situations in the Workplace

An interesting take on how one can use racist attitudes to one’s advantage – they hit some things dead on, some they missed, entertaining nonetheless.

Cre8ive Abstract, Hip-Hop, Love, Swag

Nerban Holiday Gift Guide

December 20, 2009 d dot b Leave a comment

Nerban Gift Guide

Some fresh fashions and tech gear for the Nerbans and Nerbanettes for this holiday season – from the highly techie stuff to the cool gear. You can be a nerd with style!

Iomega 500gb USB powered external Hard Drive

$99 via TigerDirect

The Maraca headphones by WeSC

$64 via KarmaLoop

High Society Pullover by Crooks & Castles

$59 via Dr Jays

.:: LiBM ::.

Popular Culture, Relationships, Social

Racists or A-holes?

October 25, 2009 d dot b Leave a comment

Racism or A-holes

Gross ambiguity in ascertaining motivation

How we interpret events really depends on our perception; which is developed over time through experiences. When we feel that we are ‘wronged’ or we are suffering some sort of injustice from our neighbors, ‘the man’, teachers, other authority figures – sometimes the only conclusion that we can arrive at to explain why people are treating us in a certain way can only be explained by ‘hatred’. This ‘hatred’ though is ambiguous as it may be colored through ‘racist’ or ‘asshole’ goggles. Ok, your probably not following, so let me paint this with examples:

The guy in this video is clearly an asshole, it is quite evident. Now, if you were the doctor, and you were black, some may interpret this as the guy not being an ‘asshole’ but a ‘racist’ – to explain why he is behaving so badly. Essentially, you would have no choice to come to a conclusion such as that – this is why ‘context’ is so important and can lead to so many implications.

Many Cry

Thus many of the cries I hear from people in their attempt to describe authority figures like Cops, Teachers, bosses, etc. may be a mis-diagnosis — they are probably just assholes more so than racists. To be an asshole usually suggests that one is not happy with themselves, and they take out their frustration on any and everything out there. These people are rude, abrasive, and very self-centered – also mix in some condescending behavior and sarcasm, and you have an ambiguous person that can either be labelled a ‘racist’ or an ‘asshole’, depending on the context of the situation.

I guess if you find yourself dealing with an individual that you think may be an ‘asshole’ or a ‘racist’ … in the end it may not really matter how you label him; it just matters that you deal with the situation accordingly – if that means walking away or addressing it directly. Just don’t let a false ‘labeling’ of such behavior fuel your anger to make you do/say something that you may regret – because then you may end up as an asshole yourself.

Check out the Asshole song by Denis Leary (90’s) here

Love, Social

Gross National Happiness for Women

September 30, 2009 d dot b Leave a comment

GNP for Women

How to increase the Gross National Happiness for Women

Gross National Happiness (GNH) is an attempt to define quality of life in more holistic and psychological terms than Gross National Product. The term was coined in 1972 by Bhutan’s former King Jigme Singye Wangchuck, who has opened up Bhutan to the age of modernization, soon after the demise of his father King Jigme Dorji Wangchuk. It signaled his commitment to building an economy that would serve Bhutan’s unique culture based on Buddhist spiritual values. Like many moral goals, it is somewhat easier to state than to define. Nonetheless, it serves as a unifying vision for the Five Year planning process and all the derived planning documents that guide the economic and development plans of the country.

After reading this I thought of a great correlational study; can the GNH apply to Women? Women always complain about not being happy, not getting their way, so maybe if they followed (or more importantly, their man followed) some of the GNH 7 steps to happiness – modified for women, then women may achieve a high GNH. But knowing women, they probably would never be satisfied.

7 Steps for Happiness

Now there are 7 steps that would lead women to overall good GNP; some of the steps are adapted/modified from Med Jones (2006):
1. Economic Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of economic metrics such as consumer debt, average income to consumer price index ratio and income distribution
(Women’s Interpretation: you better not be sitting around the house and not pulling in any income – you have to support her shoe habit, because she can’t dare rock last year’s shoe in this season)

2. Environmental Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of environmental metrics such as pollution, noise and traffic
(Women’s Interpretation: stop littering and care about the environment; more importantly stop leaving your ish all over the house)

3. Physical Wellness: Indicated via statistical measurement of physical health metrics such as severe illnesses
(Women’s Interpretation: don’t get out of shape and gain a pot/beer belly – or I will start singing Beyonce’s ‘Irreplaceable’)

4. Mental Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of mental health metrics such as usage of antidepressants and rise or decline of psychotherapy patients
(Women’s Interpretation: if you want to sleep comfortably, watch football on Sunday’s, then do what I say – or I will raise hell)

5. Workplace Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of labor metrics such as jobless claims, job change, workplace complaints and lawsuits
(Women’s Interpretation: he better not be flirting around with that bimbo receptionist at work, as she may need fully functioning tires to get home)

6. Social Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of social metrics such as discrimination, safety, divorce rates, complaints of domestic conflicts and family lawsuits, public lawsuits, crime rates
(Women’s Interpretation: you can’t always be hanging out with your friends doing a whole bunch of nothing)

7. Political Wellness: Indicated via direct survey and statistical measurement of political metrics such as the quality of local democracy, individual freedom, and foreign conflicts.
(Women’s Interpretation: get involved in politics and abandon the “I don’t care” approach, if you need help, then believe what I believe in)

In summation, the GNH for women can probably be paraphrased, summed up, described as ‘Just Listen to her for peace’, or she will rip you to ‘pieces’ and/or will never allow you any ‘peace’ and quiet. And of course shoes, lots of shoes.

Just to show you that the whole concept of GNP is not a joke, check the following video:

LMC presents: Ann Muller & Gross National Happiness from another being creative on Vimeo.

Sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gross_National_Happiness

Work

The Peter Principle

August 6, 2009 d dot b Leave a comment

Rewarding Incompetence

The Peter Principle – explains a lot

When I first heard about the Peter Principle I felt a couple of things; first, this explains a lot – that’s it. Sorry for saying a ‘couple of things’; as I guess the first explanation explains so much situations and scenarios that we all can relate to. The Peter Principle is a special case of a ubiquitous observation: anything that works will be used in progressively more challenging applications until it fails. This is “The Generalized Peter Principle.” It was observed by Dr. William R. Corcoran and he found that in an organizational structure, the Peter Principle’s practical application allows assessment of the potential of an employee for a promotion based on performance in the current job; i.e., members of a hierarchical organization eventually are promoted to their highest level of competence, after which further promotion raises them to incompetence. That level is the employee’s “level of incompetence” where the employee has no chance of further promotion, thus reaching his or her career’s ceiling in an organization.

The employee’s incompetence is not necessarily exposed as a result of the higher-ranking position being more difficult — simply, that job is different from the job in which the employee previously excelled, and thus requires different work skills, which the employee may not possess. For example, a factory worker’s excellence in his job can earn him promotion to manager, at which point the skills that earned him his promotion no longer apply to his job.

How to resolve the Peter Principle:
– employees who are dedicated to their current jobs should not be promoted for their efforts for which they might, instead, receive a pay increase.
– employees might be promoted only after being sufficiently trained to the new position. This places the burden of discovering individuals with poor managerial capabilities before (as opposed to after) they are promoted.

I don’t know about you, but this explains a lot and allows me to understand the chaos, dumb, asinine logic that exists in the corporate/government world.

Some Key Examples of the Peter Principle (Fiction & Non-Fiction):

Former FEMA Director Michael Brown

Former FEMA director Michael Brown was called to testify before Congress for the botched relief operation in New Orleans (Hurricane Katrina 2005).

George W. Bush

Self-explanatory for most

Michael Scott

– The Office star, and lovable incompetent boss that represents so many of our bosses

.:: LiBM ::.
Sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Peter_Principle

Logic, Social, Work

tan(011) – My Intuition parks bad on the streets, sickly

July 31, 2009 d dot b Leave a comment

tan(011) – Against your Intuition, Street Parking, Sick from Work

NOT to go off on a Tangent, but …

Preamble: Without the venting of frustrations, one is destined to be a very hot pressure cooker, so let the steam go!

Against Intuition
This is a rant against myself. Against my fault for having too much faith in other people and their abilities to fulfill an order. The ordeal happened when I was renting some audio equipment for a friend’s going away party, and to make a long story short, I rented speakers and speaker cables from a local audio rental store that will go unnamed; but the customer service rep gave me incorrect speaker cables – rendering the speakers useless. Now when placing the order, I suspected that the customer service guy was a bit new and somewhat inexperienced; and at this store, it is a requirement that you know your stuff, very well. Preamble, I have rented from this store numerous of times in the past though; with no bad experiences, they have always given me the right pieces of equipment and necessary cords (I never had to check before I left the store). However this time, because of the inexperienced and uncertainty vibe that I was picking from the CSR, I wanted to do a physical check of the equipment, but I was reluctant to do so. I think my rationale for NOT checking was that if I persisted to check, that action may have been insulting to the CSR; so I was kind of being sensitive to his feelings. But, after having to drive across town and back to pick up PROPER speaker cable from my house, I will be LESS sensitive in the future

Street Parking
Pretty simple concept: if you are going to park on the street, and clearly there is enough room for two cars to park, park APPROPRIATELY. That means, consider other cars that may want to park; so that means, don’t park in the middle of the space so that only your car can fit – instead move up a bit and park so that another car can park behind you. Simple concept, yet some people have no consideration for others and will park selfishly so that no others can use the parking space. Let’s be aware people, you mofo’s aren’t the only ones out there; let’s have some thought for others. And not to digress, but this is also a gross act of laziness – especially when your girlfriend is to friggin lazy to move the car up a bit so that you can park behind her. Instead, you have to go park across the street in a private lot that is subject to parking tickets and towing … and she has the nerve to call me ‘selfish’, hopefully she isn’t living in a glass house, lol.

Sick for a Day
I hate it when you are sick for a day, and one of your fellow employees goes to your workstation to ‘see what work needs to be done’, and they completely reorganize your stuff. It’s a simple concept dumb mofo’s; leave things the way you found it. Don’t change the position of the phone, don’t move papers around to different locations, put it back the way you found it. You are not doing anyone a favor by moving stuff around dummy. Lame dummy.

Logic, Love

The Naïve Woman

July 30, 2009 d dot b Leave a comment

Naïve or Manipulative?

Deflecting blame and responsibility

Naïve is a French loanword (adjective, form of naïf) indicating having or showing a lack of experience, understanding or sophistication. It can also be spelled naive. The noun form can be written naivety, naïvety, naïveté, naïvete, or naiveté.

Women can be one of two things; very naïve or very manipulative; I would go even further to suggest that sometimes they blur the line between manipulative behavior and naitivity; masking their manipulative states as being naïve. They do this so that when the sh*t hits the fan, they can deflect and redirect blame. Giving simplistic replies to their man like, “I didn’t know that he would do that”, “I am so shocked that he did that”, and “I had no idea that he was thinking like that” are sometimes humorous and disrespectful to our intellects. These examples are referring to those women whom always get into some sort of man trouble; either some guy gets aggressive with them, starts flirting with them, or starts stalking them – and then these women seem baffled as how this could have transpired. Of course you are going to have the odd creepy dirtbag, but I would suggest that a lot of the predicaments that women get into are a result of their direct chosen behavior.

So, if you are one of these lame’s, or know someone who is, here are some methods how you can change them:

Step 1: Confront their bullsh*t
– too often, we men are letting too much slide. Somewhere in the 70’s or 80’s or even 90’s, men were conditioned not to say what is on their minds, and to practice some sort of new age passive behavior where discussion about sensitive topics is taboo. Interesting correlation in the rise of feminism and the rise of pussification amongst men, lol. I’m digressing from the topic though, but you need to confront the issue when something doesn’t seem right, don’t let it go – cause it will probably happen again

Step 2: Common Sense is Common
– After the confrontation, they will try to retract, backtrack on statements, and will try to place the blame of the source of tension to situational factors – but never placing the blame on themselves. Screw that, no, screw that with a big Phillips Screwdriver. Women have a classic tendency in committing the Fundamental Attribution Error; attributing undesirable behavior/consequences to situational factors instead of dispositional factors (themselves). Part of the reason in doing this is simple; it is much easier to blame your problems on something else – and as a society, most of us may do it without much conscious awareness. But, that doesn’t make it right. Women need to own up to their behavior – that guy wouldn’t be making those sly innuendos if you hadn’t been flirting with him OR those guys wouldn’t be commenting on your appearance if you hadn’t been exposing so much cleavage. Get real ladies. Don’t come crying and complaining why certain things are happening to you when you know exactly why – stop playing the innocent game, ya guilty!

Step 3: Go at the stubbornness
– So if she still wants to play naïve, then there are some ways to get her to see the ‘light’ in her cloudy atmosphere. Essentially when one plays the naïve role, they are showing an undesirable trait; that trait is the lack of sophistication and critical judgment. So, point that out. Women always have a desire to be ‘sophisticated’ and an ‘expert authority’ on relationships and people – and by a certain age, at least near the end of high school, women have enough interactions to use as a reference point for the analysis and interpretation of future behavior … simply put, they have ‘experience’. That experience is learned by direct contact, and through TV., film, and the oral tradition (get ya mind out the gutter, wiki it). So when she acts shocked, surprised about why something has happened – and when you know the causal factors of why it happened, and she can’t accept that, then go at her intellect. She will hopefully see the error in her ways and stop her stubborn behavior.

Step 4: Acceptance
– Once you have said your peace, be at peace. Know that if they persist to act asinine and/or play foolish, undesirable results will materialize. Some women are completely naïve – and may have not learned from previous experiences; that is completely possible. However, I would suspect that most women know EXACTLY what they are doing and they use the naïve card as a ‘Get out of jail’ card. Sorry ladies, your card is expired, fellas stand up!

In summation ladies, you are very smart; much more than you lead on. You are very perceptive and aware of your environment and the people within it; simply take responsibility for your actions. And understand that most actions and behavior from others are intentional; and you as ladies have a good idea at the motivation behind it. Don’t play the fool, or you will end up the fool. Tired of y’all asking the obvious questions and standing there in bewilderment; kinda like standing with a mini-skirt, high heels, fishnet stockings, and low-cut tank top on the Las Vegas strip and asking why all these guys are asking if you are available for 30 minutes for a $100 … lol.

Peace!

.:: LiBM ::.

Sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naive

Logic, Love, Social, Work

tan(010) – Importance to women is a hard route to MapQuest

July 17, 2009 d dot b 2 Comments

Super Tangent(010)

Night out with friends, prep your route, importance, workplace exit cues

Preamble: Ahhhhhh, feels good to get writing these tangents again – its not that nothing hasn’t been pissing me off (there is never a dry spell of that), just been busy focusing on more topic related posts. There is a correlation I think between tangents/rants (pent up anger and frustration) to producing great content; whether it is art, writing, sports, or singing – frustration seems to affect performance (for some), well for me, looks like it is positvely correlated. So, haters, busters, chumps, pricks, hacks, and lames – keep doing your thing!

Night Out with Friends

Maybe it’s the anti-social nature in me, or maybe it is the years of experience waiting for people, picking up people, people not being ready when they said they will be – but I do not really enjoy the process that preceds going out to the club/lounge with friends. I know there are some folks that bask and really like this stage of going out; but I repel it, try to avoid it as much as possible. My usual experiences usually goes like this: friends get the ‘cheap-bug’ and want me to drive, they are reluctant to pitch in on gas & parking, and then there is the waiting part (see my various posts on ‘time’ to understand that). Recently I have tried to bypass all of the elements that annoy me of the club process by telling my friends that I will meet them at the venue – but somehow that never pans out as expected. Maybe, just maybe, in the future I will pronounce that I will not attend, and then magically appear – thus saving my time, money, and sanity.

Preparing Your Route

Maybe its one of those weird logical things that only make logical sense, but if I were going to an address that I don’t know – I will not ask directions from other people; as usually these directions go somewhat like “turn left after 2 lights, the 4th street turn right, after you see the school go for 2 more blocks then turn left”, and so on. More times than not in those situations, a key count of a light or street is overlooked, which leads to one getting lost. So to avoid those situations, one should search out the directions on Google Maps or MapQuest so that they can print out or write the directions – especially if you have days/weeks advance notice in knowing that you have to be at this specific location. It baffles me that some people who use web communications daily, do not rely on the web to solve a simple problem such as directions. People need to be self-reliant in solving life’s simplest problems, don’t rely on others solving your issues that you could’ve easily solved yourself with a little effort and time management. Step your game up!

Measuring Importance

Women have a hard time in understanding. Period. Wait, that was too ‘black & white’, maybe not ‘period’, because women have no problemo in understanding what is important to them – but lord help you for women trying to UNDERSTAND anything that DOES NOT relate or affect them (ooh, isn’t that ‘selfish’, lol). That is like trying to explain color to a man that was born blind, teaching a dog to speak several human languages, understanding the meaning of life – it is damn near impossible and will take years to accomplish. I don’t think there is more need to elaborate other than that women usually have a tendency (yes, strong stereotypes are being used) to only have concern for themselves, and to f— everything else, everyone, and there desires. So fellas, as I have said many times in tweets, posts, in relationships it seems that you got to sit on your knees, cup your genitals, give up your independence, brain, and pride to your woman – if you truly want to make her happy … (that was sarcasm). Stand up fellas, don’t let these birds peck at you; if you had fear before, get some courage you cowardly Lion – stand up.

Workplace Body Language Cues

This is for all those in the work environment, I am sure you have experienced a million times already. I can’t stand when people don’t pick up on body language cues that I drop, that indicate that: a) I don’t care to sit and ‘chit chat’, b) I have lost interest in the conversation, or c) I really don’t give a f— in engaging in this mindless dialogue. I usually drop cues such as backing away from them, turning my body away from them, begin typing on my workstation again – but it usually doesn’t work as they still talk; talking about what they did last weekend, what they will do this weekend, about the boss, blah blah blah blah. I have to blame myself for this, I have to rant on my behavior because I am a very good attentive listener. I give good attention cues such as nodding head, saying stuff like “oh really?”, “wow”, “ok”, “that’s good”, and so on. Essentially, I may be motivating them to talk more as they are picking up on my verbal responsive cues, and may be ignoring or not even noticing my body language cues … and they say that “Body Language speaks louder than Verbal Language”, well, not in the workplace environment, at least not for me.

.:: LiBM ::.

Life in B Major

Category Archives: Relationships

Racism Workplace Etiquette

Racial Situations in the Workplace

Nerban Holiday Gift Guide

Nerban Gift Guide