All Reflection, Internal

Hindsight is always 20/20; the day when we can load that app that allows us to jump a few months to the future – to take a glance of what will happen, and then return back to the present with the future knowledge – then, and only then when life will truly be ‘simple’. But things that operate that way, life is successive ‘if’ statements – with each decision yielding a different result.

I work with a lot of people, in various capacities – helping to complete projects. Maybe due to my insecurity, low or no self-esteem, I was always a contributor that felt on some level that my affect was minimal. Meaning that my influence on a collaborative project or on team members was minimal. I know this sounds like faulty thinking, and it is, and it is even sadder that as someone that studied Psychology, I should know better. Slowly I am realizing that self-confidence is a real artform: or a good acting performance. Working as a TV Director and Producer, it amazes me at how on-air talent are sometimes very insecure and nervous, and I would suggest that most people think that hosts are the most talented. Lol, but I can’t tell you how many times I’d have to re-shoot takes and go over lines with hosts. I guess even the most seasoned still need a bit of salt for flavor (yes, I created that just now).

It wasn’t till a few weeks ago with a conversation with a past co-worker over Beer & Pizza; a bit more beer than pizza, I realized that one of the problems all along – with the failed projects & collaborative efforts that I have been a part of, that the problem may have been that I didn’t take a stronger leader or parcipitory role; as I know/knew, but should of realized a bit more, even in group settings, people are a bit more concerned about themselves than the overall group – I know that may sound a bit shocking in the highly narcissistic individualized culture of the West. And this dynamic, which isn’t necessarily bad, does not bode well for the super hypervigilant creative person; because one of the problems with creativity is that you keep on creating – and you create in any field; including systems & people. So when the team is not making decisions for the betterment of the group, then its time to pivot or explode the group’s dynamics & structures. Which I am proud to say, I am starting to do, while also realizing and/or ‘wearing the blame’ that a lot of the reasons to why failed projects may of not ‘popped off’ was because of me. Because I didn’t do more to steer the ship away from the iceberg in the Atlantic. I don’t think I gave ‘All of Me’, didn’t work harder, and didn’t do more. Consider this as somewhat as a ‘middle step’ in a ‘step program’ of ‘Mid-mid life crisis’ – as the stench of frustration, anxiety, anger, and regret are manifesting into a manifesto and new outlook.

So I guess here is for me ‘scratching my itch’ – or at least understanding why I’m itching.

Aside: the title of this post is from Joe Budden’s classic joint from ‘Mood Muzik 2’ or ‘Mood Muzik 1’ (I can’t remember now) called ‘All of Me’ – which was a very self-reflective track, one of the most honest pieces of music that I have ever heard.

2011: Tergiversate & the Protester

Don’t be afraid, to look up @ the Sky

The Year that was …

From the Arab Spring across the Middle East to the Global civil activism of the Occupy Wall Street Movement, the year of 2011 was essentially the year of the Protester – the one rising up against a system as they raise their heads, eyes, and voices towards the sky for change. So fittingly, the audio excerpt is from Pharrell’s song ‘You Can do it too’ (The Yessirs edition), and the pictures are from the tumultuous year of 2011 as ‘Time’ magazine called it the year of the Protester, and defined the word of the year as ‘Tergiversate’:
1. to change repeatedly one’s attitude or opinions with respect to a cause, subject, etc.; equivocate.
2. to turn renegade.


Images in Video: The Boston Globe ‘Big Picture’
Audio: Pharrell ‘You Can Do It Too’ (Yessirs Edition)
Video Editing: Desmond B – @lifeinbmajor

.:: LiBM::.

Social DNA

Social DNA

Similar, Complimentary, Opposite.

According to the folks at Energy Diamond, these are the keys, well in terms of balancing them, to achieve positive/optimal social DNA. I think they may be onto something because having your social network full of one set of people does not really do much in giving you a balance viewpoint on things. I know many people that only want to surround their world with similar thinking people – I think this is an attempt to lessen arguments & protect their sense of self (the overly religious do this a lot).   I truly think that if people adopted a more balance viewpoint by allowing themselves to be open to various inputs of ideology and reasoning, then we would have more tolerance, and ultimately more peace. But Utopia is a couple of generations away …. (I hope that I’m wrong though).
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