Tag Archives: self-worth

3rd Person B

3rd Person B
Living the narrative

The third person is commonly referred to as a narrative in which one is telling a story of themselves or of subjects. In novels the third person narrative is imperative as it reveals the thoughts of the protagonist and other characters of interest. Sometimes I think that my life is lived as a narrative, making myself the narrator; as I find myself accurately predicting and/or calling the thoughts and actions of others. Which has its positives & negative associations, but with this skill, it has made me very objective. You know, always trying to be impartial, be considerate of others, be politically correct; especially in the work environment, as you know we live in the age of pussification where one’s individual voice is muted at work as one dare not try to express any thought and/or emotion for fear of insulting anyone’s personal beliefs. However, subconsciously, I think that 3rd person aspect seeps its way into your personal life like ooze, and it has caused me to respond in my personal relationships as I did in my work relationships. A couple of years ago, I remember someone telling me of this behaviour, but I thought that they were way off, but now recollecting, it made sense.

Since then, I’ve worked on it, some have said that I worked on it too much (by being brutally honest), but I guess as the saying goes, ‘you cant please everyone’. And really and truly, being ‘liked by others’ is completely over-rated.

What do y’all think? Share your thoughts and comments, share the knowledge.

.:: d.b

Life in B Major
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Procrastinating Nature & inaction

 

 

Procrastinating Nature & Inaction
An account of reciprocal effects (questionnable) for inaction

 

 

Many times I have heard that procrastination is the ‘thief of time’, but more so I was thought that too procrastinate was to waste an opportunity. However, there is one incident that happened which I learned that procrastination, which is ‘inaction’ can cause an undesired ‘action. 

I had a good girl friend named Samantha, we had just recently met through an acquaintance, and we vibed well with each other, cracked jokes, chilled, you know how it starts. However, I was attached to someone else, but that relationship was on the rocks, and was on & off as she had ‘issues’, again, you know how ‘that’ is. Anyhow, Samantha was also seeing someone else, but she told me about him and she had concerns about him. For example, she was much older than her, and felt that his intentions were suspicious. So thus, it was kind a like, she was talking to me about her problems, I was talking to her about my problems – a sort of double counselling interaction.

Moving forward to a warm August evening where my so-called girlfriend had run-off to Jamaica with her ex (whole another blog, would probably be a series) and as I was coming home, I got a call from Samantha. She was calling me from her guy’s place (mentioned above, let’s call him ‘Bob’). I was kinda thrown-aback as to why she was calling me; Bob was in the vicinity of her, she sounded very distant and peculiar. I was kinda jealous in a sense that she was calling me from his place, because I had grown feelings for Samantha, but I never could muster the words to tell her how I feel; regardless if she would have accepted or rejected it, the days leading up to that, I wanted to tell her that I grown an affinity to her. Thus, this phone call could have been the prime opportunity to do such a task – especially when it felt that she was calling not to say ‘I’m with Bob’, but calling for me to convince her about something. You ever get that feeling? When someone calls you, expecting you to say something, hoping that you will say something?

It got to the point that she was purposely dragging on the conversation, after a considerable amount of time, I ended the conversation, but she quickly told me, numerious times to call her back in like 1 hour. I told her that I would. However, I didn’t, I don’t recall if it was deliberate or I just plain forgot.

I come to find out that Samantha called me after Bob made some advances that she wasn’t ‘totally’ comfortable with; I’ll use the word ‘totally’ as she was borderline engaged with Bob’s pressing behavior. When she called moi, it was her trying to convince herself to leave – thus, she wanted me to say something to make her leave. Maybe if I had said what was truly on my mind, that would have given her the strength & rationale to leave Bob’s place, but she didn’t leave, and further she did not receive my phone call that I had promised – which may have intervened in an inevitable event because ultimately, Bob sexually assaulted her.

Now, I know that I am not responsible for this; so this piece is not a guilt trip or I am not placing blame on myself for the horrific act. However, I will say that my inaction may have caused Samantha not to follow her intuitions, I think that I could have said something that would have made her do something – would have made her not to endure such a life-altering event.

I know it is very speculative in nature, and from time to time it bothers me, but I have learned that procrastination/inaction is truly an action – thus, it does have reciprocal effects.

Think about it, the next time you want to say something, but you stop yourself.

Peace,
D.B

 

Dont impress me kid

 

Don’t Impress Me Kid

 

Virtues: self-monitoring, respect, accolades, getting ‘gassed’, hype, tolerance 

ExcerptLook at me, look at me. I am the ish, I do this, I do that – join MY team. I AM doing so well, I AM ballin’ – you gots to believe ME! Or is it believe IN me??? …. — Behavior of the ‘Gassed’ Individual

Ever had this happen to you? I’ve had plenty of times – you see an old acquaintance/friend from your past; high school, college, old neighborhood or just from around the way. Now, personally I rarely need accolades from others to build my self-confidence or self-esteem; I use rarely because I can admit that ‘yes’ it feels nice to be praised every once in awhile, but I feel it is only valid if I’m not looking for the accolades …. Enter the main theme of this piece. I’m referring to that dude or girl who you see every once in awhile whom tries to get your respect & praise from what they are doing in their own lives. They try so hard to persuade you to say ‘wow’ ‘ooh’, and ‘ahh'; they may do this with over exaggerating situations, showing you pictures & images to show proof of what they are doing, or by even telling you to talk to a mutual friend to verify/solidify their prominence. I’m not hating one’s hustle or grind, get money & stay true.

But, one should not need the approval of others, or try hard to make others feel impressed because that comes off really shallow; one’s self-worth isn’t much. I’ll use the term ‘gas’ to describe these people as they try to fill-up their ego with high-octane so that they can feel that they are ‘somebody'; and yes, we are all ‘somebody’, but those that need ‘gas’ are NOT happy with that ‘somebody’ whom they are.

I guess the ‘gas’ is propelling them to their ideal ‘somebody’ … but I ain’t gonna help the process, ya dig?

.:: Peace ::.
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