Pussification pt. 2: No, I don’t subscribe
A more succinct way of disagreement
View pt.0 and get familiar
Society has become increasingly tolerant and sensitive to the needs of others; looking at our etiology we have come a long way from the tyrant, barbarian behaviour of our ancestors. As of late, after the feminist and civil rights movement, in an era I like to call ‘social movements’, we have a hard time of saying ‘no’ to the simplest of things. ‘No’ is a refusal skill that implies a disagreement or rejection to something (concept, question, etc.). Instead of saying ‘no’ we will substitute our disagreeable or rejectable response for longer, and more sensitive responses that can lead to ambiguity – meaning the respondee may be lead to believe that there is hope to their question.
So why do we do this? Having respect, and being respectful for others feelings could be a reason; as we are taught such behavior from a young age. However, we can still have respect for others, and their feelings, without embodying the qualities of pussification (pretentiousness, fake, ambiguity, non-genuine, not ‘keeping it real’).
Here are some real world examples on how you can un-pussificate yourself:
Can you help me out and do some of my work?
old: “I’ll see if I can get around to it”
try: “No, I’m not going to do your work”.
Did you mess up on that 1st quarter report?
old: “I’m not sure, I don’t think I did that”
try: “No, I don’t have any recollection to what you are referring to”
Honey, can we go see Sex and the City?
old: “I’ll see, I got a lot of things to do later on”
try: “No, that is for chicks, I’m a man”.
old: “Its okay”
try: “No, its wack – it needs work.”
Want to hit up the club tonight?
old: “Not really, I’m kind of busy tonight, and the club is kind of expensive, and I’m trying to save my money”
try: “No, that club that your going to is weak and has ugly women”
In all, people respect those that give respect, and furthermore, people can – or at least should, respect an honest opinion. Its okay to disagree with someone – there may be some notion or perception that saying ‘no’ may lead to an argument of some kind, when in all honesty it is not a start of an argument per say, but the start of a discussion, a dialogue of sorts. An open exchange of opposing, differing, and even similar views – try it sometimes, you may be surprised with the results, and even with what you learn.
.:: d.b ::.