Virtues: Relationships, peace, understanding, compromise  

Relationships can be a tumultuous affair; confusing and frustrating, noisy and unrestrained – yielding excitement and great happiness to emotional agitation. I’m in a committed relationship with this woman, lets call her Melissa (lol). Ambitious, loving, caring, at times stubborn & selfish, sexy, and very perceptive. I am also very perceptive, and too much perceptiveness, in my case, leads to heightened paranoia. I’m sure that many can relate, and many take proactive measures to muffle their paranoia from increasing; Alicia may snoop in Mike’s phone, Robert may randomly check out Erica’s workplace to make sure she is there, and such. All of those/these types of behavior may quell your suspicion, but if the suspicion is so strong that you are willing to do extreme behavior, then you got to ask yourself if you got a ClearView?

What is a ClearView, if you’ve been reading my literary masterpieces, then you know that I like creating new terms and/or applying old terms to different/left-park concepts. A ClearView is a state of accepting the relationship as it is, as it could be, and what it might be.

As it is (AIS)
As it is (What it is), is pretty self-explanatory in abstract, but in practicality, there are usually two different current states. Having a ClearView is understanding the two different states, and understanding that those two different states may never merge as one; and really, I don’t think that it ever has to merge as one – that isn’t as important as understanding than more than one exists.

As it could be (ACIB )
As it could be (AICB), is the vision that each one has – of themselves, together, and of the other one. AICB almost works like ecological optics and the concept flow information; to move through the environment, the brain uses information from the eye, previous experiences, and ‘feeds forward’ the information to predict future actions. Thus, AICB is really based upon understanding how it is, and if how it is can be changed. Can you & your partner change? Are you willing? Stubbornness can be an obstacle to this, as one has to have a ClearView that each party has to compromise and change in order to get to that state to where they want to be – as long as it is not at the expense of their own personal beliefs and values, but with that said, that is a problem, with each party, and each party must understand that that problem will exist – and may never go away.

As it might be? (AIMB)
Having a ClearView of ‘as it might be’ is very scary. Growing up, I had many girls tell me all sorts of stories where they slept around on their b/f, disrespected the b/f, and used the b/f for monetary/status gains. This world is nasty. So having a ClearView is understanding that you are ready to accept ‘what it might be’; I’m not saying to condone AIMB, but to be strong and confident that you are at peace with yourself. That you have tried to be honest, respectful, loving, and real. And having such a ClearView, I think, would subdue paranoia to a manageable extent so that you won’t be snooping around, spying, and things of that nature.

Do I have this ClearView?

I think I do, and at times my vision is clouded, but for my sanity sake, I subscribe to the notion that being at peace at yourself of what it is, what it could be, and what it might be is a viable path to constant sanity. I have definitely been tested though, as most relationships have. One time Melissa acted irresponsibly around one of my close friends; to make a long story short (because that is a blog in itself), when I heard of the irresponsible behavior from my friend, I was emotionally agitated. Upon confrontation, Melissa told me that wasn’t the case, even though both parties had similar stories (regarding chain of events), but the motivation for Melissa behaving as she did was different than he thought.  

Regardless, my ClearView was developed during that difficult time – as I wasn’t going to let my paranoia consume me; because I can control and influence ‘as it is’ & ‘as it could be’, but ‘as it might be’ is out of MY hands … and that is a succinct ClearView.

Ya Digg? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment.



.:: d.b

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *